Pumpkin Pie

Ideally, cooking should be a creative adventure filled with love, joy, and pleasure. Have fun with this and please email me with your results. Remember: ALL the steps are important. Live with passion!

1 15 oz can of Pumpkin
1 14 oz can of Sweetened Condensed Milk
3 Eggs—use the kind from free range chickens
1 package cream cheese
Graham crackers
1 stick of butter—real butter, preferably the organic kind
½ cup sugar
1 ½ tsp cinnamon
½ tsp ginger
½ tsp cloves
½ tsp salt
¼ tsp nutmeg
¼ tsp allspice
1 pinch fine-ground black pepper
Vanilla ice cream—get the good stuff. Life’s too short to eat crappy ice-cream
10 gallons of love ** this is THE most important ingredient**
1 or 2 children (not essential, but highly recommended) Please see alternate recipe at the bottom.

How to add the love:

Don a sexy apron and turn on music to dance by.

Preheat oven to 425 degrees

Soften the cream cheese until it’s gooey then add the cream cheese, pumpkin and sweetened condensed milk in a large mixing bowl and beat on medium low speed.

While the wet stuff is mixing, put sugar and spices in a SEPARTE bowl, and mix these together until they are a homogeneous mixture with no lumps. Use a sifter to slowly sift them into the pumpkin, milk and cream cheese mixture (which should be a nice creamy texture by now.) If you have a small child available to help dip up the spices and get powder all over the floor, the pie tastes better. (Trust me on this!) Also, the spices which are stored in glass jars taste best because they don’t have that processed plastic residue smell.

After the ingredients are well mixed, add the eggs and beat on high speed for about two minutes. Again, let a child break the eggs. The fact that egg goo gets all over floor and you might have to dip out a few eggshells is much less important than the fact that children add love. Dance to the music and sing loudly while doing this. (Remember: Fun, not talent, is the issue.)

Set this mixture aside.

Crush the graham crackers and melt the butter. Organic real butter tastes the best. Even very small children enjoy smashing the crackers. It’s a therapeutic riot to put them in a heavy zip lock bag and beat the crap out of them—the crackers, that is, NOT the children. LOL! Press butter/graham cracker mix into a deep 9in pie pan to make the crust. I don’t know how many graham crackers I use—I just guess.

Pour pumpkin mixture and blessings into piecrust. (Don’t forget to put the blessings in!) Bake at 425 degrees for 15 minutes then turn the oven down to 350 and bake for another 40 to 50 minutes (until a knife comes out clean.)

Give the beater blades, spatula and mixing bowl to a child to lick clean while the pie is baking. You might want to take the beaters out of the mixer first. LOL!

When the pie is done, let it cool for about 15 minutes but serve it HOT with love, gratitude and vanilla ice cream. (The good stuff, not some cheap store brand!)

WARNING: You can use a pre-done pie crust, skimp on the steps, refuse to wear a sexy apron, use spice out of plastic containers or not let the kids help, but then you’ve forgotten some of the love and the pie won’t be nearly as amazing.

Alternate recipe (if child is not available): Take off clothes and don ONLY the sexy apron. Follow the rest of the steps—dance music is still very important. Allow husband to lick the beaters, spatula, bowl and whatever else comes to mind while pie is cooking.

Enjoy!

About Jessica Trapp

When I become Evil Queen of the Galaxy, exercise will be fun, afternoon naps will be mandatory, and laundry will be illegal. In the meantime I write medieval novels with alpha heros and defiant heroines. I love romance, castles and books.
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